As the term draws to a close and with the festive season just around the corner, many of us look forward to family get-togethers, parties with friends, and best of all - the promise of good food.
However, the holidays aren't always the easiest time, and many d/Deaf people report feeling left out, or even exhausted, after dinner party conversations, and the busyness of the festivities. Just as each family has its traditions, many families may do things slightly differently during the winter holidays when accommodating for d/Deaf members.
Here is a small, and by no means complete, list of things you may want to be mindful of when celebrating this year:
Using a round table
As many d/Deaf people rely on lipreading and facial expressions when communicating with others, there can be nothing more frustrating than feeling excluded from a conversation because of not being able to see everyone involved. By having dinners around a round table it is a lot easier to see people's faces, and therefore be able to engage with everyone fully.
It's also helpful to allow d/Deaf guests to choose their seat at the table, they may prefer to sit in one position as it provides better lighting to see peoples faces, or helps with blocking out background noise (for example if you are sitting with your back to the wall).
Another good point is to encourage as many guests to remember to give good eye contact when communicating. Turning your head or speaking with your mouth full makes it even harder to lipread.
Signaling changes in conversation
Another way to make the festivities more accessible for everyone is to make it clear when changes to the conversation have been made. The more people around means topics of chit-chat can move along quickly, and it can be exhausting to follow - for anyone!
Giving a brief overview of what conversation is now taking place, especially if a d/Deaf family member has just entered the room, means that they don't have to spend even longer trying to understand what is going on before they feel able to engage.
Setting the mood
It is often popular to dim the lights and put background music on to add to the festive atmosphere, however, this can sometimes only lead to frustration, which might be the wrong mood to set.
Background music can be very distracting for d/Deaf people and requires even more concentration when trying to also follow a conversation. Asking the person if they need it turned down, or off completely, allows them to relax and enjoy the rest of the celebrations.
Likewise, dimmed lights can also be obstructive rather than ambient, especially during dinner conversation as can again reduce the ability to lipread or see facial expressions. Being mindful of this and asking if it would be easier to brighten the room helps everyone feel more included.
Getting everyone involved
It has been said the best way to make or break a family - is a game of Monopoly.
Either way, getting a game out does give the opportunity for everyone to really get involved, and takes the pressure off of following multiple conversations with various family members. For gatherings where people don't know each other as well, it can really help to break the ice and relax the mood a little.
Board games are a great way to have fun as they are visual and allow d/Deaf guests to take a break from lipreading and get competitive - which is what the festive spirit is truly all about. Pictionary or 'Fingernary' can be great ways to teach some fingerspelling or sign language to the group as well, and get some camaraderie going.
Video calling
For those friends and family who may be away during the holiday season and aren't able to celebrate in person, encouraging video rather than phone calls, by using Zoom or FaceTime, is a simple but valuable thing to bear in mind.
By using video, it removes the need for any interpretation and allows everyone to directly communicate, as it makes it easier to read facial cues and lip patterns, and most importantly, means that everyone can feel included.
We wish you well however you celebrate this winter holiday and hope these tips are helpful to consider especially if you are hosting anyone who is d/Deaf or has hearing loss this year. Either way, we hope it encourages people to be mindful of how they interact all year long, not just the festive season!
Happy Holidays!